Let me begin by stating that my life before the hiatus was not all cat videos and fun quizzes.
I have this terrible habit of tormenting my own anxious mind. The suggested friends list is a favorite of mine. I found several of my boyfriend's past flames, which clearly nothing came of them, this did not stop me from wanting to vomit uncontrollably. I went through the pictures and I imagined them together. She's easily prettier than me in most people's minds and she certainly seemed like a better fit for him to my anxious self. I found myself crying at Christina's profile. I called Carl, because clearly he would know what to do. He prompted me to reconsider what I had been stressing over. The usual "he chose you," "he loves you," "give yourself more credit" stuff. I've heard it all before, yet I don't listen. Him and Evan made me promise to delete the app from my phone and to stay off it until I could find it in me to not stress myself out. It's been about 3 weeks. I've been on a total of 2 times. I logged on today. I should not have done that.
I began looking through the suggested friends. Facebook was making things up, giving me people whom I shared no mutual friends with as options. For some reason, I cannot find it in me to just accept that he thinks I am good enough for him. It stresses me out because it comes from the fact that I still see an ugly pimple faced teenager who couldn't even get complete acceptance from her own parents, let alone herself.
