What Relationships Have Taught Me

I never thought it was possible to miss someone after only having left them five minutes before. I thought people who felt that were ridiculous or lying. Yet here I am. 

I used to think those couples who fit in 4 kisses before leaving are absurd. I used to be content with just one. Yet here I am. 

I used to wait by my phone for a text I knew wasn't going to come. I've spent time waiting for a man, and then I found one that doesn't always make me wait and I know regardless that he'll respond and here I am.

I used to think relationships didn't mean time apart and I always craved being able to read and book. Now I have a balance between the two. 

I had a lot of misconceptions about relationships when I was going through all the wrong ones, that now that I feel like I'm the right one, I can see my faults. 

I should've known better than to believe that I was the reason each relationship failed. Or that sex could make you love another person. Or that the only time a guy would say I love you was when he hands were tracing zipper of my pants and his lips were touching mine. I've learned a lot from those middle school relationships, including that communication is important. Or from my first 6 month relationship, including that sometimes you can love someone with all your heart but not want to be with them and that that's okay. From my relationship with someone in another religion, I learned that you need similar points of interest to keep going. From my relationship with someone from outside of the country, I learned that differences in culture can change your values in a relationship. From my relationship with a rich guy, I learned that money doesn't make someone better and that we all have our own problems. And from all those guys I've dated, I've learned that the least attractive guy will still make you feel like shit if you give him the chance. 

From Sam, I've learned that communication involves more than just your words, and that it's the difference between getting in a huge fight and resolving a conflict with minimal damage. I've learned that you don't have to say I love you to feel it. Your actions can make the difference, you can tell me that you love me or you can show me through your actions. I've learned that love isn't about sex, it's about the connection you have with the other person. I've learned that being patient is the greatest quality. I've learned that sometimes you want to be with someone so often that it doesn't matter what you do in your time together. I've learned that being straightforward and honest isn't a bad quality that I have. Being that honest person helps both parties out in the end. And most of all, I've learned that the right person does come when you least expect it. You'll meet a lot of wrong ones along the way, but each wrong guy is a lesson and a step towards the right guy.

Fraternity Boy v. GDI

Dating a fraternity boy encompasses more than dating a GDI would. When you date a fraternity boy, you're dating the whole fraternity. You're dating his 100 brothers, their rules, their traditions, their parties, their colors, and their alcoholic neighbor.

When I say you're dating the brothers, I mean that you'll be spending a large portion of your weekend with all the boys. And if your boyfriend lives at the house, then you'll see them all the time. This part is weird because when I say dating the brothers, I also mean that you are bound to them, not that you are actually taking them anywhere. They kind of turn into your brothers as well, assuming you're accepted enough and that they take that initiative. 

You date their rules because they have a ton of them. You're not allowed to be rush help, even if you really love the fraternity and all they stand for. You can't know the details of guys night and you aren't supposed to hear the things they let slip. You're not supposed to still their stitches shirt and only wear the letters if your outfit represents them well. Some of these rules aren't written and are more guidelines, but they're still kind of enforced. 

You date their traditions. Some fraternities are more strict than others, which is okay. Some are more rooted in their traditions and some aren't. All fraternities are different. You date the tradition to do a chant at each party. You learn the words to said chant and it gets stuck in your head for weeks. You learn the facts and your Greek alphabet and the lingo used regarding fraternities. You find yourself thinking about how weird it is that these guys have a schedule to dress up by and that they spend every Wednesday at Bullfrogs or Fuzzy's. 

My personal least favorite is that you date their parties. My social anxiety goes crazy in the small fraternity house that is the same model of my stepdads house from when he lived alone in Nacogdoches. They fit all these people in a small area and blast the music so that it pounds through the walls. I can only do parties in big areas, which is why I stay outside most of the time. You're basically dating on a schedule of social events that you feel bad not attending or even scared not to attend because of how many women will be all over your man. You're dating the puke, the dirty dishes, the pounds of trash, and the late nights. You're dating a walking party machine.

You're dating the colors. My boyfriend's fraternity's colors are those that I once thought were sacred to Christmas. Yet they wear their red and green throughout campus, making me want the sky to unleash snow and make a list for Santa. But just wait, the social functions usually come with t-shirts. They're usually the colors. If you get a t-shirt, you're getting the sacred colors. 

A GDI is a God Damn Independent. I am a GDI, Greek life is a mystery to me and I could never be a sorority girl. I don't care to shellack makeup or do my hair at 7 am, just to go to Poultry Science. So I understand that as a GDI, I have a lot of freetime. I value my freetime. I take it and hold onto it for dear life. If you so choose to date a GDI, you're smart. You don't become involved with a huge group, you don't date a whole party, but you also don't date a group of amazing men who would stand up for you when your boyfriend does something wrong. You aren't dating a group of men who will tell you when you're wrong, and how to fix it. You aren't dating man children, or even their potential to be amazing grown men. You aren't dating a guy who wears more themed t-shirts than you, or maybe you are. 

There are pros and cons to each. GDIs can be just as bad as fraternity boys and vice versa. Just remember that your boy is more than his title. He's not just a fraternity boy. He's a fraternity boy, a gamer, a 300 fan, a loyal friend, a funny roommate, a giraffe, a great bacon cooker, but most of all, he's my amazing boyfriend.

Tips for Boys Regarding Their Girlfriends' Time of the Month

So I have recently had to deal with hormones again. I was on birth control, but when we hit the deer, I lost it. That being said, to begin a new pack I have to wait until my next period. When I am on my period, I am the single most hormonal person. I get terrible cramps and mood swings that could kill. One minute I could be really happy, then someone says something that rubs me the wrong way and suddenly I'm pissed off, then someone says something mean and I'm suddenly crying. It's the most ridiculous thing. Birth control actually really helps with this. Since I am struggling with a period and being hormonal again, I figured I would create a list of Dos and Donts for all the boys out there. These really are kind of specific to girls like me, but who knows. It could be useful across the board.


1. Do NOT discuss other girls. I don't care if Sheila got the promotion or if this girl looks like Jennifer Lawrence. And no, I probably don't think she's hot and you shouldn't either. And if you do, don't fucking comment on it. OR why don't you go date her if she's so hot? You're making me feel insecure, and it's kind of pissing me off.
2. Do NOT ask me why I am acting crazy or if I am okay. The answer is no. There is blood and uterine lining escaping my body via my vagina. Plus those really fun cramps? Yeah, those are uterine contractions shedding the lining like it would a baby. It's painful. No I am not okay.
3. Do NOT make fun of me. I know, it is your way of dealing with things. But do not make fun of the way I waddle when I have cramps. I will take it personally and probably cry and definitely not talk to you for several hours, even if your house is on fire.
4. Do NOT be offended by me. Between how crazy I already feel and how much is going through my mind, I probably haven't taken the time to think about anyone else. My period can make me very selfish, seeing as I am focusing on the pain of my cramps instead of how my last statement sounded. If I am acting like a heinous bitch, please just tell me.
5. Do NOT be alarmed or laugh if I cry. Between physical pain and whatever else is going on, I walk around 90% of my period time ready to cry. I couldn't pick a pain reliever and cried on the floor of Walgreens. I stopped walking and cried on the benches because I thought of the possibility of us breaking up. I just cry a lot.
6. Do NOT touch my belly or any part of me that is fat for that matter. I am bloating and feeling fat. Stop with yourself, unless you want me to cry some more.
7. Do NOT spend all your time ignoring me. I need some idea that you still like me even when I am ugly, breaking out, bloated, and emotional. Ignoring me to hang out with the boys while I am in some strange, fragile, broken emotional state will make me overthink a lot of things. When I overthink a lot of things, I come to the conclusion that you just don't like me. I will then again proceed to cry.
8. Do NOT forget that I still love you. I may not be the most affectionate person on my period and sometimes I might lash out. However, this does not change the fact that I find you to be the greatest guy around.
9. Do NOT forget that I am acting this way because I am literally losing a chunk of my uterus. That is uterine lining swollen with blood. Women got the shaft in this whole reproduction thing.
10. Do NOT feel the need to appease me if you truly don't want to. Women know when you feel coerced into doing something. It' s not worth your effort because you might face more hell than you intended to meet.
11. Do talk to me. There's a good chance that I want desperately to talk to you but don't want to piss you off or annoy you. Sometimes I just want to talk to the person that means the most to me.
12. Do hold and hug me. You don't understand how much this matters. Hugs are the most comforting things. I need comfort when I am in pain.
13. Do reassure me. Like I said, I get insecure on my period, you would too. Sometimes I need to know that you don't think I'm Stalin's child with all my body hair or that I am the most repulsing woman and that you still like me. Plus I won't be feeling like a 10, I'll be feeling like a -100. You're the only person whose opinion matters to me at the moment.
14. Do watch tv with me. Sometimes I just need someone to sit down and watch Supernatural with. I won't make you watch Say Yes to the Dress, even though I've been on Pinterest all day while watching The Notebook with the girls while crying into my pint of Phish Food ice cream.
15. Do accept the way I eat. I eat like a fucking yeti, I'm sorry I out-ate you, but it's just life.
16. Do get me a pillow and some water. My cramps will make me want to break a lamp. Giving me a pillow saves your hand from the squeeze. Plus who doesn't love water.
17. Do remember that I can get my own stuff and I'm self-sufficient, but I do appreciate gifts. By gifts I mean Midol, a heating pad, and ice cream.
18. Do remember that I want to help you. Even if I feel like shit, I want you to be happy and I want to help you out.
19. Do remember I will be sappy this week. I want to see people get married and have babies and I want to cry good tears. I'll try to save this part for the girls.
20. Do tell me what I mean to you. You'll make my heart happy. Unless you think I'm a worthless piece of shit, in which case, wait until next week.
21. Do realize that if I actually ask for alone time, that I need alone time. Sometimes I want to cry by myself. Or sometimes I need a nap. This alone period of time will be over quickly, to be honest.

This Crazy Weekend Adventure

Have you ever had a weekend so eventful that you don't remember it as a whole but random small parts come to you? That was my weekend. 

To begin, my spring break began on Thursday of last week, seeing as I don't have Friday classes. I spent most of Thursday packing up my room and getting ready to leave the next day. We left school on Friday around 2, that put us in Dallas at 5. We got our stuff together and left for Oklahoma at 7-ish. 

Now I love night drives on the highway, but knowing the tendencies of animals, I hate rural sections at night. 

So as we missed a turn in Antlers, OK, I began to feel an imminent danger. I usually push these things away because of my anxiety. However, I should have listened to it as my friend pushed almost 80. There was a deer lurking beyond a hill that fulfilled my gut feeling. The first deer was fine, the second deer was the one that got hit. We somehow made it out okay, even though we ended up in the ditch. Thankfully the car didn't flip or hit a tree, or get stuck. But that only began the journey. Turns out, we were headed the wrong direction, so we snail crawled our way back into Antlers and made the correct turn towards Broken Bow. That's when the check engine light came on. Long story short, we ended up getting towed only to have to stuff ourselves into our friend's vehicle in a way that would make any Tetris player amazed. 

We finally made it to the destination at 2:30 and promptly, wait for it, got into the jacquzzi. I didn't realize this would take away hot water from the shower. I took a cold shower that night. We finally went to bed at 4:30. 

Who knew wake up time would be 10 after the late night. I was on breakfast duty, I was actually on all food duty. The rest of the weekend followed a similar pattern of going to bed early and waking up early.

This weekend actually taught me a lot and did an equal amount for me. 

First, I got a social media and texting free break. This helped me in several ways.

Second, I got to see a different side of my boyfriend's best friend. Usually the kid gets under my skin, but he honestly didn't irritate me this weekend. Don't tell him that. 

Third, I figured out that I'm the full package, according to one of my boyfriend's fraternity brothers. 

Fourth, I saw a very protective side of my boyfriend and also a very manly side of him as he smoked a cigar.

Fifth, I've come to the conclusion that all these emotions I feel are actually the love kind of emotions and that I had to stop myself several times from saying it.

I've also discovered that I don't like it when other girls sit next to or touch my boyfriend. I become very competitive.