Letting Go

It's been said that talking about your feelings can help. 

I'm the kind of person who holds on to too much. It's been almost a year since my second to last relationship and I still think about it, not good thoughts. 

So here's the dizzle, this kid was kind of the first guy that I liked who liked me back. It started off weird. First of all, my first sign should have been that he was willing to go on a date with me after I added him on Facebook like it was immediate gratification.

Well I should start from the beginning.

My elementary school was having a reunion, of which only one of my teachers was going to be there. It was worth it. I got to see a lot of people and reminisce about the good old days of recess and nap time, and the think track. There was this tall, mysterious guy who looked fairly familiar even though I knew I had never met him. I was about to talk to him when he left.

It seemed to fate when I found his Facebook under the suggested friends side bar. So I added him. I figured in today's age that it would be one of those simple things that if it didn't work, it wouldn't be hard to recover from. He accepted me within 2 hours and we started a conversation. The following Friday we went on a date. 

I am not one to kiss on a first date, but it felt decently comfortable. Our first date actually ended up lasting 12 hours. HOURS. It was fun, I actually met one of my soon to be good friends there, Brian. His family was great, his dog was great, and his friends were great. He's a rich kid, so he had this huge house that could fit 2 or 3 of my houses, with a huge backyard that could comfortably fit 5 horses. I wasn't into it. I don't do rich. Swanky things are not my forte, I'm a girl that spends time in shorts and a t-shirt hanging out at the ballpark. I'm more beer than I am wine. Yet, all of this extravagance didn't matter because I thought I really liked him. 

We never put a label on what we are even though it was assumed that we were together. 

Two weeks passed and the only thing that I could say I liked about him would be his face and his kisses. Other than that, he wasn't too brilliant and he lacked a good sense of humor. I was getting bored quickly but I didn't want to give up the attractive guy that my mom seemed to like. 

One night, before he left for a weekend, he said the words "I think I'm in love with you." I'm a fairly practical person, so when he said this after such a short period of time, I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. I wasn't about to love this kid, I could barely say that I liked him, let alone love.

He left for the weekend, before I could dump him but after I had time to worry about him cheating on me before I could dump him.

He came back, didn't text me regularly and was about to pull the whole distancing himself thing. 

I definitely was not about to just wait until he stopped talking to me entirely, so I asked him what was up. 

He said he didn't want to cheat on me and that he's still in love with the girl he spent the weekend with.

Later, I found out that they actually did do the diddly doo.

This has stuck with me.

But it's time to let it go. 

Here's why...

First, there were no redeeming parts to the kid at all.

Second, we obviously weren't meant to be if it didn't last.

Third, he clearly has troubles somewhere in his life.

Fourth, he is not every guy. He does not determine if another guy will cheat on me or if they will be faithful til the end. 

I'm forgiving him for this. It's not my fault that he left me and I know that he's sorry. Even if he doesn't, it's okay because there is nothing I could have or can do about it now. I forgive him because I have nothing else to do and because it is pointless to let something in the past bother me to this day. He's moved on and I need to get over this problem as well.

I'm taking the step that some people think is a dick move. I'm deleting him from most aspects of my life. He doesn't need to be what I see on my instagram because we aren't even friends.